1. |
easily bruised
01:01
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|
i'm always afraid of saying something wrong
especially when we're so far apart
but we're making it work
me and you
together in the dirt
easily bruised
|
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2. |
surface
01:30
|
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|
you'll realize everything is my fault
but with time, it'll be alright
i have a lot of issues and i want to try and solve them
but i can't, not tonight
i'll work on them and grow with you
in the forest
we find ourselves in
just know that i'm trying
to swim the ocean
we're drowning in
sinking to the bottom
i've never been a comfort
to anyone, it's so hard
trying to breathe your air in
it's all useless
we'll choke to death
and float up to the surface.
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3. |
trial and error
01:30
|
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|
going out walking
shouldn't be seeing anything
the visions are still haunting
my every move
but at least we didn't go
inside of the five below
tomorrow
we get to see what happens to my uncle
murderers get off scott free while he has to be inside of that cell rotting
but at least he saw everybody… mostly.
should have been a christmas miracle
you and your support is all i have, honey
thank you for being here for me.
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4. |
||||
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1am
chucks drunk again
he went back home
to get the beer he thought was in his golf bag
he said he'll be back, then disappeared for 30 minutes
but in the end, we all made it home safe
stood up til 3am
watching cops with wes
listening to white noise instead of the heater
it's the same thing anyways
passing time, and wasting days
running away from everything
running away from everything
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5. |
||||
|
we're closer than ever
on opposite sides of the u.s.
well at least
we can both touch the ocean
and our spirits
thank you
for the broken green heart necklace
we both have one half
and it's so precious
you have a big mushroom plush
to keep you company during the lonely nights
the long months
and the distance that separates us
makes us cry sometimes
but it'll be fine
because i want to grow with you like fungi
or how an axolotl can regrow its limbs
it's as simple as communication
which i'm trying to work on
i want to hold you, cause holding the ocean water in my hands isn't enough
it falls through the cracks and i want to prove to you i'm in love
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6. |
||||
7. |
as soon as possible
00:44
|
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|
it's been a year
do these words mean anything to you?
|
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8. |
||||
|
i always look for you
next to me when i wake up
you're not there
so i'll just lay in silence
unless if we call and talk
about everything or nothing
still in silence
but at least it's comforting
i always leave a space for you
next to me when i sleep
and i always
look where you should be
where you will be
|
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9. |
running uphill
01:38
|
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|
our valentines day
was shitty
because i
am not comforting
and don't know how to communicate
i try to work on it
but i'll never change
i'm running uphill
there's no progress
my legs are sore
and i have no water
you'll give me the water
when I start being better
but i doubt
that will ever happen
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10. |
lonely v
01:19
|
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|
it's consuming me again
i guess this is what happens
when you're an adult
with no friends
this home
has never been
sure i'm the weird kid
but at least i'd enjoy being thought about or invited
but i'll never be
to anything
especially when i'm in the same state
where all this is happening
but you don't care
you don't care
about me
|
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11. |
(un)comforting
01:32
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|
i want to be perfect
when i comfort you
if I don't
i feel like i'm failing
you said i don't have to be
this is something i'll always struggle with
stepping on eggshells
my feet are bleeding
i slip and fall
and start screaming
at myself
i feel like i could do more
when all you want is for me to just be there
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12. |
excessive expression
02:50
|
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|
your bugsheets are so cute
i want to be with you
laying there and laughing
but curse this anxiety
we're so close
yet so far
some days
it's so hard
to be in the moment
when i think about the future
24/7
i want us to be together
on the beach or in your bed
listening to your heartbeat
falling asleep
to your soft breathing
right before our lips meet
we're filled with love and gentleness
you're not being excessive
when you're
expressing your feelings
you spray painted us as mushrooms
under a bridge
purple and green
nobody knows what it meant
but we do
and that's all that matters
now that i think about it
we're everything
just not where we should be
in each others vicinity
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13. |
small steps
01:37
|
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|
i have to take steps
to stop eating my feelings
it's so hard
when you're constantly stressed about everything
i have this horrible habit
of trying to be perfect
i have to break it
or it's gonna lead to my death
i can't do anything about this addiction
i'm already hyperventilating
you tell me that it's okay
i just have to do it week by week
your support means everything
you mean everything
|
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14. |
ruined painting
01:31
|
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|
i love your smile
i love your teeth
i love everything about you
you're my darling
i'd love to feel your skin on mine
but i'm not as horny as you would like
i constantly apologize because
i feel like i ruin everything
it's all in my head
my thoughts screaming at me
you're so beautiful
and so understanding
you look amazing in a suit
but i know your new job is stressful
you're so strong
you can do anything
i want your soft palm in mine
while we're blushing
i'm painting a picture
i'll never get to see
where we're happy
until i destroy everything
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15. |
last thought
03:57
|
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|
we keep having the same conversation
2 weeks at a time
i'm not changing
but still want you to be mine
i feel you know everything about me
so there's nothing to talk about
my day's are mostly the same
i don't want to bore you
so i'll spare the details
i'm stressed out
because you're exhausted
In so many ways
i can't pick up the pieces
it's been different lately
we didn't call each other anything lovey dovey
or tell each other i love you before going to sleep
just that we hope for a good day
you know i won't change
it's been like this for months
and everything's still the same
i have no clue
what to do
lay here in darkness
and wait til morning
when there's this void
this empty feeling
in the center of my chest
my heart's breaking
thinking the worst will happen
unable to sleep
alone i weep again
i feel like i'd bring you down with me
so i won't say anything
but i know you just want me to be okay
so i should start communicating my feelings
i've struggled with this
in all of my relationships
it's always how
everything ends
a basic building block
of society
vulnerability
is hard for me
i'll just crumble and try to be here for you
but how can i help you when i can't help myself
i go mute and conversations become shallow
the ocean is draining
i'm a fish out of water
just flopping around
i need to try and sleep
thoughts will keep awake
i know the last one will be
hearing you say you love me
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hopeful mess Covina, California
an alternative acoustic singer/songwriter that just wants to tell their life story through music.
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